Before starting this year, I need to layout my intentions from my experiences of last year. As the years progress there is be constant pressure to ‘find a job’ within the respective industry. My reasoning for doing animation to begin with was to find out if creative thinking was still my interest. I needed to know for sure, and the only way I knew how was to try something that would change my way of looking at things. At first, I was hesitant about applying for the course, then I scared myself out of the interview, which two days before I manned up to the challenge to attended with success. It’s one of my first real experiences of ‘biting the bullet’ and going for it and I don’t regret.
I have come to terms with my anxieties and put them to one side and don’t feel a constant nervous disposition that ‘I can’t draw’. Being that this year we have to develop a portfolio, the summer has taught me something while my practices in animation have taught me another. I feel passionate about film and animation, but I don’t feel passion for the industry. I don’t feel driven to be the second coming of Jesus in this industry like what everyone should aspire to be… but that’s ok. I found my place in the research side of design while the creative aspects are still encouraging and something I want to develop. I don’t want to be an artist, an illustration, or someone draws. I want to focus on cinematography, sound, research and developing the story and visual style.
As a result, this year I will focus on my strengths and continue to develop a portfolio while still following my teaching interests in film and animation. I have a different path I want to follow, but I want the skills to back up what I know. I’m aware of the overbearing attitude I can be to my team and this year I want to change it. I never dictated a team but I was always aware of my influence. From now I’m stepping back and keeping a far equal distance. I’m passionate about ideas and seeing them through, but I don’t want to feel like an ego and instead maintain a balance of what I do in conjunction to what the team do.
This year, I’m playing to my strengths and following the path I want. Not what the industry wants. Typical rebellious student.